Starting Sixth Year
It's the night before my first day as a sixth year student in Biotech at IIUM Kuantan.
I've unpacked all but one luggage bag, which I had locked and forgotten the keys for, and which contains half of my wardrobe. My husband had just sent the keys over via post from his home in Bachok, Kelantan today after he had just arrived there from personally sending me off here.
This has happened before, before I got married and had still lived with my parents in Kota Kinabalu, Sabah.
Life lessons are repeated until they are learned. :|
To illustrate, I'm a sixth year student. I've been at this so long, all my subject codes have been replaced with new ones. Even my course had had a revamp.
And yes, sixth year. If I failed again this time, I'd have completely wasted all the time and money I had spent in the last decade. I have one more subject to repeat, another Final Year Project to come up with, and one last subject to add which I was supposed to have taken back in my second year (that's easily half a decade ago) but didn't because I couldn't be bothered.
I cannot say with complete certainty that I have changed much since. orz
Unlike all TEN (10) of my previous semesters here, which had started with me feeling Very Motivated to get it right and still had screwed them up, this term's start has me feeling more lost than ever. Even more than I had felt during the decade that I had been under clinical depression.
But I'll chalk it up to the natural fear of messing it all up again as usual.
Just one more year, please, let me graduate properly. TT^TT
I do agree it's a fallacy that I keep at this every semester just because "I've already spent X years and X money on this..." But well, I'm just another sheep in the flock. Lagging very far behind, sure, but still just another sheep. Oh God.
Did I ever actually blogged about my getting married tho...?
Well, well. So I have always only posted depressing thoughts on here.
We'll do that when I have better internet connection then. As always, campus wifi is a bit testy for me.
I've unpacked all but one luggage bag, which I had locked and forgotten the keys for, and which contains half of my wardrobe. My husband had just sent the keys over via post from his home in Bachok, Kelantan today after he had just arrived there from personally sending me off here.
This has happened before, before I got married and had still lived with my parents in Kota Kinabalu, Sabah.
Life lessons are repeated until they are learned. :|
To illustrate, I'm a sixth year student. I've been at this so long, all my subject codes have been replaced with new ones. Even my course had had a revamp.
And yes, sixth year. If I failed again this time, I'd have completely wasted all the time and money I had spent in the last decade. I have one more subject to repeat, another Final Year Project to come up with, and one last subject to add which I was supposed to have taken back in my second year (that's easily half a decade ago) but didn't because I couldn't be bothered.
I cannot say with complete certainty that I have changed much since. orz
Unlike all TEN (10) of my previous semesters here, which had started with me feeling Very Motivated to get it right and still had screwed them up, this term's start has me feeling more lost than ever. Even more than I had felt during the decade that I had been under clinical depression.
But I'll chalk it up to the natural fear of messing it all up again as usual.
Just one more year, please, let me graduate properly. TT^TT
I do agree it's a fallacy that I keep at this every semester just because "I've already spent X years and X money on this..." But well, I'm just another sheep in the flock. Lagging very far behind, sure, but still just another sheep. Oh God.
Did I ever actually blogged about my getting married tho...?
Well, well. So I have always only posted depressing thoughts on here.
We'll do that when I have better internet connection then. As always, campus wifi is a bit testy for me.
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