Happy New Year

So it's the last day of the year 1434 H. Come sunset, a new year begins. I wonder if I should sit and think about that for a bit?

I should have like a new year resolution, I think. Something like "stop wanting things I can't have". But I can't help that. So it's gonna have to be something else.

I keep thinking about how I haven't been able to draw these past couple of months. I haven't been reading anything. I also haven't submitted a single assignment this semester actually. The mid-term exams aren't even over yet and I'm already in danger of getting barred from finals because I have been skipping a lot of classes too.

I just wish now that someone could just tell me what I really want for myself. I'm tired of this. I just want to go home now, wherever home is for me.

Yeah, that's another thing. I've long since realised that I don't actually have a place I call home anymore. I just have this idea that it's where everything is okay and stuff make sense again. I won't feel like this when I'm there, whatever this is and wherever there is. I dunno.

So here's to closing another senseless year. And here's to finding home sometime this year. I hope. I dare hope this time.

Oh no it's too scary. I'll stay where I am, thanks.